happiness

Bliss

It’s always been my belief that there is only one actual driver of human behaviour, although it manifests in a myriad of different sub-motivations. I believe that every human action is driven by the desire to reach a state of total bliss. From sex to suicide, from the pursuit of power and the power of …

culture, Uncategorized

Accept / Reject

I’ve been thinking a lot about determination and reactionism, if that’s a word. I think we’re all pretty aware of how history tends to repeat itself within families and culture. The abusive, alcoholic parent whose children also end up abusive drunks, that sort of thing. In a less grim vein, think of the woman who …

happiness

The Goal (Or Not)

What I’m searching for is bliss. Fully present, fully focused, live in it, grow in it, bliss. And not as an end goal, because that is a fallacy and a fool’s errand, not to mention unrealistic. I used to think, like most people, that happiness is an achievable place in time, an end point, a …

writing

Am I Generic?

I started reading David Eddings’ High Hunt today. I was a fan of Eddings as a child for his fantasy series, the Belgeriad and the Malloreon. My brother and I have talked about re-reading them, in order to see if my eldest niece, who is a great lover of fiction and fantasy, might like them. …

depression

The Disconnect

The problem with depression is that it kills the value of everything in your life. All the things that you value, that you enjoy, that mean something to you, whether it’s just entertainment or something deeper, like a life’s purpose or a favourite task, are robbed of their emotional content. Robbed of meaning. Of purpose. …

writing

Prophecy

It’s a staple of fantasy fiction everywhere. The prophecy that foretells of a pending doom and a particular person or person as the only chance to stop it and save the world/girl/country/human race/whatever. And I get it. It’s an impetus to push a character into a larger role, to put them in situations where conflict …

depression

Depression Identity

It’s easy to let the negative parts of your life become your identity. Addict. Victim. Crazy person. Bitch. Loser. Depressed. I do and have suffered from depression since I was in my pre-teens. Sometime around the time where what I was being told was good and right stopped lining up with what made sense or …

depression

Non-Conformity

I am a terrible non-conformist. I don’t mean that I’m an inveterate or incorrible non-conformist, though that’s what I’d really love to be, but rather, I’m bad at it. For all the punk rock on my iPod (yes, I still have one) and all my literary heroes coming primarily from either the counter-culture or genre …