The Silence Is Deafening

I’ve been looking for work for months. I’ve tried submitting resumes everywhere I can think of that didn’t result in a lower wage.

I’ve even tried submitting resumes to places that do result in lower wages, but have long-term prospects for advancement. I’ve advanced at every job I’ve had since I was in my early twenties. Promotions can be earned through networking (asskissing) or busting serious ass (martyrdom). I much prefer the latter. I like being good at my job. I like learning. I like to grow. I like challenges (typically, ones that aren’t just fending off someone else’s office politics that only harm the business and environment).

Part of the reason I work where I do is because it was small and had (at least it appeared at the time) a high potential for growth. That meant busting ass and ending up highly placed because I worked harder than the others.

It’s worked every other time, right?

Unfortunately, let’s just say the management of this place, as well as the staffing, is less than ideal. Having been here a few years now, it’s become painfully obvious that this place is not manned by the kind of people who know how to make a business work.

And I don’t mean a lack of skill. Partly, it’s that, but it’s mostly a will problem. I was hired specifically to run the network and provide advice on how to grow and how to manage growth as a tech start-up.

The good news is I don’t have to work very hard at providing advice because a) no one listens to any of it, regardless of the fact that most of it is designed to keep the company from continuing to operate like it’s punching itself in the face over and over again and b) because while everyone pays it lip service, actual growth means work and who wants that? Certainly not anyone working here, including ownership.

This place doesn’t last another two years, tops, in its current form. My best guess is that the owners sell it because they want to retire and everyone is either left in the cold and shocked (shocked!) that the owners abandoned them. Worst case scenario is the place just closes, because the owners can’t find anyone willing to take these people on.

I suspect the former, which means get out now. There’s nothing more soul-crushing than coming in on a daily basis and not just being completely unappreciated, but actually held in disdain for trying to point out that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

Apparently, we’d rather be nuts.

Unfortunately, no one will respond to my resumes. In some cases, I may be punching above my weight class, but in most, I’m not. I’m punching down in quite a few and still, not even a phone call.

Some of these businesses are run by people I know well. People I would consider friends.

I am truly baffled and utterly disheartened. I’ve double checked my phone numbers and email a thousand times on my resume.

At this point, I can only figure that either I’m truly unqualified for anything, that someone is actively sabotaging my chances by badmouthing me all over town or that I’ve created such ill will in others that I’ve effectively shuttered myself off from even the possibility of a good job, an interview, a phone call, or a polite email telling me to go fuck myself.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist so of the three options available to me, I can only assume the last one is true.

That or I’m such a non-entity that I’ve slipped into some kind of alternate timeline where no one can see me but my family. It could be that.

It makes as much sense as anything else at this point.

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