Isolation

I’m an introvert. I don’t do well at socializing, even with the people I’m closest to. I do a far better job of letting people know what’s going on with me here, on this blog, than I do in real life. You can discern a lot more from me by what I write down than you can by knowing me in real life.

At least, that’s how I think of it.

Isolation isn’t unfamiliar territory for me. It is a slippery slope, for two reasons. First, not connecting with others is often a precursor, as well as a side effect, of the years of depression I’ve endured. I know it. I have a tendency to withdraw and that can resulting in crippling depression and lack of perspective as to how people think of me.

Or how I think about other people. Luckily, I’ve managed to figure out how to counter that. As soon as I realize I’m spiralling, I try to see as many other perspectives as possible, and in particular, as many that are positive or gives as much benefit of the doubt as possible.

The other side of introversion is the need for that time alone, to pursue my own interests away from other people. Cooped up as we are these days, unable to avoid each other, that can wear on a person. I don’t feel like I can relax, even though I’m with people I love.

Introversion can be a bitch. Some time to myself will be a blessing. That’s why I like video games and movies and good TV and great books so much. It’s nice to get lost in the thing, and forget there are other people for a bit.

Isolation sucks.

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