Slowing Down

There seems to be a mark of about a hundred days where I find myself somewhat overwhelmed with the projects I pile on. I’m terrible for having ideas and expanding on them but not being able to follow through, because I want to do everything at once.

I’m a tremendous fan of single-tasking, but ever since I’ve been working at home, I feel like I’m torn in six different directions at once. There are too many distractions, and too many individuals not pulling their weight from their home offices.

It’s impossible to focus on one thing when the load reaches a certain point. This is usually the point where I throw up my hands and say fuck it and start over.

That often serves me well in the short term, granting me the relax time I need to decompress and try get back to zero (by abandoning tasks that really should be done, rather than doing them).

Unfortunately, long-term, that means I’ve been covering the same ground for years, over and over. Incrementally, there’s improvement, but it all rapidly becomes too much, and like I said, about the hundred day plus mark, things begin to unravel and motivation disappears.

I’m at that point now, but I’m resolute about somehow catching up. That probably means more isolation, less external stimulation. It means a greater focus on pure single-tasking. Not necessarily abandoning any projects, but just tackling only the important stuff, then picking at it, one at a time, until it catches up. By my effort, if I can do what my regular daily tasks are, plus one, I can be caught up in a couple of months, by midsummer at worst.

It’s a very doable task, but it’s looking at the giant pile that makes it so much worse.

I just have to learn not to worry about it, to get it done one piece at a time, in the moment. It will work itself out. It’s like a cluttered closet or garage. Taken as a whole, it seems like an unfixable nightmare.

Taken one individual piece at a time, it’s easy.

I hope. I can’t start over again.

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