I’m doing what I always do on Valentine’s Day.

Driving some 20-odd hours to Florida. There’s usually cards and a “happy valentines”, but that’s about it.

It’s not that I’m highly invested in Valentine’s Day or anything, but as my work will attest – romance, connection, sex – these are all big parts of my writing. Frankly, I’m obsessed with human connection in all its forms – broken or solid, sordid or innocent, personal or political.

How people connect (or fail to) with one another (and themselves) is my heroin.

And yes, I get it. Valentine’s is crassly commercial.

However, like all things, it is what you make of it. Christmas doesn’t have to be about presents or Jesus or excruciatingly sappy and patronizing sentiment.

It can be whatever you want. It can be nothing, if you feel like it. For us, it’s about being with loved ones and family, like Valentines is about vacationing with my family in Florida.

Would I like it to be about more romance in my life? Of course. Who wouldn’t? But why wait until February for that? Why do it only a few times a year?

Every day could be romance if you play your cards right. Every day could be about connection.

Every day is about connection.

The question we have to ask ourselves is: are we connecting meaningfully, in the way we want with the people we want? Are we honouring the people around us, and seeking common ground and honest openness with which we can build truly special relationships?

You don’t need Valentines for that. Just an open mind, a willing ear and the ability to speak truthfully, even if that truth is “I have no idea” or “I’m totally fucked up.”

The question is: can we be fucked up, clueless seekers together?

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