Tag: depression

writing

Things I Have Learned

I’m almost done with this manuscript. Last minute changes, editing commas and the like, it’s tedious, but not overtly taxing. It’s allowed me some time to reflect on things I’ve learned in the process of writing this puppy, and not just that I have a tendency to use unnecessary commas (see last comma). I started …

depression

Final Drafts

Part of me just wants to hope beyond all hope. It feels like a hint of success, or just the completion of a few meaningful tasks and I can break away from all the anguish and hand-wringing and in-my-own-head bullshit. Part of it knows that it’s the association with this novel I’m writing that’s got …

writing

Worth It

I often wonder if things are worth the effort. Writing. Reading. Connecting with other people. Life itself, at times. Part of me does connect with others, but in a very passive way. For example, I sit here and write these words that no one reads (and maybe someday, should I reach a modicum of success) …

depression

Forty Two

It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve been this depressed. The last time was probably at that den of ego and incompetence I left to start the store, when I had to force myself not to swerve into oncoming traffic every day. I’d say after the store, but mostly there, I felt like a …

depression

How I Want To Feel

You know, you’d think this was a simple question. You want to feel good. Happy. Blissful. Generally, the idea is to end up on the positive side of the ledger as far as emotions go. Lately, I’ve started to wonder about myself. I’ve heard of and know other people who identify with such completeness their …

growth

You’ve Got To Be In It

I was reading Thomas Sterner’s follow-up to a personal favourite of mine, The Practicing Mind, purported to be the more practical edition, and I came across an idea that stuck with me. The story centred around a golfer who had a tendency to self-destruct if she put too much pressure on herself. She spiralled into …

depression

100 Days

I started writing this book a hundred days. A hundred days ago, I just wanted to write a book on depression, metaphorically represented by the dead people our hero (?) talks to, in an attempt to exorcise that same depression from my life. For that, I will not claim success. I mean, there’s lots of …

happiness

The Goal (Or Not)

What I’m searching for is bliss. Fully present, fully focused, live in it, grow in it, bliss. And not as an end goal, because that is a fallacy and a fool’s errand, not to mention unrealistic. I used to think, like most people, that happiness is an achievable place in time, an end point, a …