Tag: depression

writing

Back On The Horse

So, I lost about ten days there. I wish I could say what happened. Burnout, depression, the impositions of the real world? All of it, really. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I told myself I was having difficulties connecting with the work. I started seriously considering another idea far too large to contemplate …

writing

Submissions

Today is the day. I’ve spent a couple of weeks away from the whole “depression epic” that is Requiem For A Doormat and I feel that it’s time to send this puppy into the world. Like a parent dropping its child off at college (or perhaps more appropriately, leaving them at kindergarten), I’m leaving this …

writing

Dead Talker

Just under six months ago, I decided to take a run at exorcising a demon. Everyone’s heard the axiom, “write what you know”. Well, I took that to heart. I took it to heart so deeply, I had to ask what is the one thing I’m truly good at in this life? Is it pessimism? …

writing

Done

Well, almost done. One more read-through and this blessing, this pox upon me, upon my family, will be complete. Or complete enough to send out to every agent and publisher that might have an interest in such dark doings. After all, everyone wants to read a story about someone’s less-than-epic descent into depression and suicidal …

writing

Things I Have Learned

I’m almost done with this manuscript. Last minute changes, editing commas and the like, it’s tedious, but not overtly taxing. It’s allowed me some time to reflect on things I’ve learned in the process of writing this puppy, and not just that I have a tendency to use unnecessary commas (see last comma). I started …

depression

Final Drafts

Part of me just wants to hope beyond all hope. It feels like a hint of success, or just the completion of a few meaningful tasks and I can break away from all the anguish and hand-wringing and in-my-own-head bullshit. Part of it knows that it’s the association with this novel I’m writing that’s got …

writing

Worth It

I often wonder if things are worth the effort. Writing. Reading. Connecting with other people. Life itself, at times. Part of me does connect with others, but in a very passive way. For example, I sit here and write these words that no one reads (and maybe someday, should I reach a modicum of success) …

depression

Forty Two

It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve been this depressed. The last time was probably at that den of ego and incompetence I left to start the store, when I had to force myself not to swerve into oncoming traffic every day. I’d say after the store, but mostly there, I felt like a …

depression

How I Want To Feel

You know, you’d think this was a simple question. You want to feel good. Happy. Blissful. Generally, the idea is to end up on the positive side of the ledger as far as emotions go. Lately, I’ve started to wonder about myself. I’ve heard of and know other people who identify with such completeness their …