Tag: self-awareness

growth

Below The Surface

In keeping with yesterday’s theme of not knowing truly the state of one’s own enlightenment, I suffered from a burst of irrational anger this morning. Forced to go back and question it, I realize that there are so many practical, down-to-earth upgrades needed in my life, that I can barely fathom it. I’ve been reading …

growth

Where We Are On The Path

Growth is a weird thing.  So critical to our happiness, but so difficult to understand. Our society focuses so much on goals and targets and objectives and ranking and levels that it becomes difficult to see that there really is no end but the end, if you know what I mean. We don’t reach a certain point …

growth

Letting Go

It’s funny how we can spend so much time thinking about our self-awareness and be willfully ignorant of the things that bother us at the same time. I have a tendency to bottle things up.  I do.  I try to let go of little stuff.  People tell me I’m very calm and “chill”, but I …

awareness

Internal Awareness

Several quotes I’ve read have stated that we cannot know where we are on the path to enlightenment. That no matter how self-aware we think may be, there are always blind spots, and that because they are blind spots, we cannot see them, or know to know that they’re there. You can’t begin to understand …

fear

Enthusiasm (And The Tendency To Curb It)

I don’t think there’s any better feeling in the world than getting totally engrossed in something. I mentioned before that I’m all about expanding worlds, mine and others, so when I find a new world with a rich history to delve through, whether it’s a book on Roman politics in the time of Nero or …

fear

Can I Hack It?

There’s a fear in me.  A fear that clots my blood and shakes my marrow. A fear that chases me at every turn, and that’s responsible for every failed project, every deleted manuscript and every unsent story.  It’s responsible for the concern that my friends and family will read what I’ve written and sneer, or …

awareness

Self-Labels

Maybe I’m just not a fan of labels. I wrote a few days ago about how we shouldn’t define ourselves by our jobs, that our actual selves are something beyond “architect” or “woodworker” or “environmentalist”.  We don’t get to be labeled petty fucks because we’re a lawyer or a bland because we’re accountants.  We don’t …

growth

Expanding Worlds

Twelve times in the past seven years, I’ve read the same book about naming your genius. Twelve times I’ve come up with a name, then immediately started second guessing it.  Every time, I end up having to read it again, because I’m just not getting it. But every time, I expanded a little.  It forced …

personal development

Ego

I’m torn on ego. On one hand, it’s clear the thing can get out of control.  See: Donald Trump, Gwyneth Paltrow, my old bosses.  (Although, I suspect a better explanation for all three might be deep seated insecurity combined with defense mechanisms and entitlement excess.) On the other hand, it’s important to have a centre, …

politics

Right Wing Delusion

Or maybe, dogmatic delusion. I’m stumped and astounded by the unthinking devotion to a party or side when there’s so much evidence that it’s bullshit or cruel or downright evil. Why continue to insist a guy like Trump is anything other than the liar, racist and wannabe fascist he’s overwhelmingly proven to be?  Why continue …